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Fathers Day 2016 Funny Quotes and Saying

Does your father like jokes and funny movies? If humor is his thing, give him the joy of laughter on this father’s Day. Use these funny father’s Day quotes and saying in cards and on presents. Check out here 19th june 2016 Fathers day special collection of funny quotes and saying. Download it and use it to make card and also share it on facebook, whatsapp, bbm, line and other social networking sites.

Fathers day funny quotes and saying 2016
Fathers day funny quotes and saying 2016

 

If the new American father feels
bewildered and even defeated,
let him take comfort from the fact that
whatever he does in any fathering situation
has a fifty percent chance of being right.
– Bill Cosby…Happy fathers day 2016

 

My father hated radio and
he could not wait for television
to be invented so that
he could hate that too.
– Peter De Vries

“When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant, I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.” – Mark Twain

“”Having children is like living in a frat house – nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.” – Ray Romano

“You can tell what was the best year of your dad’s life, because they seem to freeze that clothing style and ride it out.” – Jerry Seinfeld

“There should be a children’s song ‘If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself and let your dad sleep.’” – Jim Gaffigan

“My daughter got me a “World’s Best Dad” mug. So we know she’s sarcastic.” – Bob Odenkirk….Happy fathers day 2016

“Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.” – Jack Handey

“Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.” – Red Buttons

“We wondered why when a child laughed, he belonged to Daddy, and when he had a sagging diaper that smelled like a landfill, ‘He wants his mother.’” – Erma Bombeck

“”The only Father’s Day tradition in my family is the annual conversation he and I have where I say, ‘Hey, Dad, what do you want for Father’s Day this year?’ and he says, ‘Nothing.’ Then I ask my mom what I should get him and she says, ‘He likes sandalwood soap, dangly jewelry and Chanel No 5 perfume.’” – Michael Showalter

Fathers day funny quotes and saying 2016

“When you’re young, you think your dad is Superman. Then you grow up, and you realize he’s just a regular guy who wears a cape.” – Dave Atell

“I gave my father $100 and said, ‘Buy yourself something that will make your life easier.’ So he went out and bought a present for my mother.” – Rita Rudner…Happy fathers day 2016

“Sometimes I am amazed that my wife and I created two human beings from scratch yet struggle to assemble the most basic of IKEA cabinets.” – John Kinnear

“Even though I’m proud by dad invented the rear-view mirror, we’re not as close as we appear.” – Stewart Francis

“Four-year-old: Tell me a scary story!

Me: One time little people popped out of your mom, and they never stopped asking questions.

Four-year-old: Why?” – James Breakwell

Fathers day funny quotes and saying 2016

“Father’s Day is important because, besides being the day on which we honor Dad, it’s the one day of the year that Brookstone does any business.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Fatherhood is great because you can ruin someone from scratch.” – Jon Stewart

“Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards.” – Robert Orben

“I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.” – Rodney Dangerfield

“Me and my dad used to play tag. He’d drive.” – Rodney Dangerfield….Happy fathers day 2016

“The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, the second half by our children.” – Clarence Darrow

“To be a successful father, there’s one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don’t look at it for the first two years.” – Ernest Hemingway

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